booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
