My friends, they love my intelligence
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
