I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
