my vag is so smooth its legendary
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
a search helicopter?!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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