How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am available for nakedness
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
