i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
