I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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