if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
