"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
