he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
