The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
