Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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