I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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