Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
