We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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