I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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