did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
