I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So. Much. Porn.
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