Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
