i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
