A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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