I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I still have a little drunk in my system
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
