nut hugger
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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