OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
