Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize