My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
