Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i think i have herpe
just one?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
