first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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