we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
