There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
