Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
