pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize