Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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