Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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