what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Life is so much better after having sex.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
