He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
