the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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