covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I could make wine with my vomit
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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