you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
