i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
