I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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