if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I understand Curling. That high.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
