I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
