Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
