Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
