Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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