3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
be right there i have to get my cape
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
