Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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