Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
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I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
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The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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