youre lurking in front of me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Semen is not good for contacts.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Vodka?
Forever.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
