If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
