So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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