I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
only if we run a train.
done.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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