He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
