If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
love makes seman taste better
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
