you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
