Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
