He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize