u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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